Wolfdaughter's Den

During the huge east-coast power outage that happened a few years ago I remember sitting around the kitchen table with my parents and Jouni while they played cards or cribbage while I read a book, all by the light of a few candles.  The emergency wind-up flashlight/radio was there too because I remember music and news now and then.  In one of the Sword of Truth books the main character is attacked by, I kid you not, a demonic chicken.  Freakiest. thing. ever.  So I'm reading along and Boom! Demon chicken!  I'm an enthusiastic reader, frequently sharing what I find amusing or particularly well written with whoever's around.  So the demon chicken shows up and and I'm like "Omg! Demon chicken!" *uneasy giggles*  My parents and neighbour Jouni look over with confused faces and I explained.  It was funnier then I think.

Good news from the garden!  All the stuff I replanted last week is coming up!  Radishes, lettuce, carrots, spinach!  And the rhubarb has made a nice recovery finally, putting out new stalks with deep green leaves.  Last but certainly not least the potatoes have sprouted, at least 3 of them, so I'm super excited about that.  The pumpkins are doing fantastic and so are the peas.  :D  I sooo wish I was going to be here in the fall for harvest.

Tonight I'm making jam with all the strawberries that my bushes have produced.  Best year yet!  I think it's because I didn't let it put out any new runners for plants; I've been ruthlessly checking it's growth so they don't take over my whole garden.  Soon I'll be trimming back the hyssop for the same reason.  It's leaning way into my lavender's space; note to self, harvest the lavender soon as well.

I found a ceramic mask out in the garage the other day, buried in a box of other ceramics I bought to paint years ago but never got too.  To paint a mask is something I've always wanted to do; I love wearing them, looking at them, seeing what they hide or reveal.  Masks are, in a word, nifty. 

While watching Mulan with Gabe this morning we heard "Reflection". It's a song that's always resonated deeply with me, as a not-so perfect daughter with secrets.  I think I'll be taking a stab at painting that mask sometime soon if only to see what is revealed.

lmao I just realized the name of my last post is spelled wrong.  English major ftw!  Should be Strawberry, not Stawberry.

Anywho, replanting stuff today; moved the cucumbers into the brocolli bed because there are now potatoes and rhubarb in the cucumber bed.  Replanted lettuce, spinach and cukes.  Going to replant carrots, radishes and peppers once I refuel.  No broccoli this time, I don't really like it that much anyway.  Have been labelling where I plant things with small white rocks out of the driveway and feel a bit like Hanzel and Gretel, marking my path with stones.  Said a little prayer over my new seeds; I hope it helps.  I wish I knew what went wrong last time.  Should see sprouts in 5-7 days from mostly everything.

Well at least the strawberries aren't late; Gabe and I shared the first berry out of my garden this morning.  There are a couple others that are going to be ripe tomorrow or the next day, all twice the size of the end of my thumb but juicy and sweet.  Much better than the huge ones we get in the stores that taste like nothing and are all dried out.
My peas and pumpkins are coming up but nothing else seems to be.  In the cucumber spot I planted potatoes and rhubarb so here's hoping they do alright.  I have to create something for my peas to climb or they wont do very well.
I'm disappointed with how my garden has turned out; everything died that I had started inside thanks to a late frost in frickin' June.  I still have one pepper plant holding on in a pot outside (one of the Medusa's that Amanda gave me seeds for) but no broccoli, spinach, lettuce, carrots or radishes. :(

Last semester I watched a music video in which Michael visited devastated places in the world; a village in Africa being overtaken by the desert, a family in the Amazon who, a week after filming, would lose their peice of the forest forever to slash and burn loggers, a Bosnian village that had recently been bombed...the people in the videos weren't actors, they were real human beings faced with horrible loss.  He captured that with his song and video.  I wish I could remember the name of it because I know what he did will stay with me forever.  If anyone can get me a link to that video I'd appreciate it.

And now I'm trying to get out the door to Alison's but I can't find my bus pass!!!

When I was a kid I remember hearing MJ's music on the radio.  Older than that I can recall a lot of jokes about him and his crotch-grabbing, high-pitched voice, odd dress and allegations of child abuse.  I had no idea what a giant of pop music he was until today when I wandered over to Wiki and took an hour to read the HUGE article they have up there about him and his career.  No wonder they called him the King of Pop.  In death I hope he finds the peace he never had in life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P06fI4n1

( Black or White )

( Heal the World )

( Cry )

^__^ Man I love these guys.

Bouncing off my post in my other blog; Waldorf teaching?  Traditional teacher's college is SO a go for this fall, but a lightbulb went on over my head when I thought "Wouldn't it be cool if there was a Waldorf school here?"  The closest one is Thunder Bay or Toronto.  I wonder how you become certified to be a Waldorf teacher, and what it would take to open that kind of 'business' here....Thoughts?  Ideas?  Constructive criticism? 
Edited to add: http://www.rsct.ca/index.cfm?pagepath=HOME&id=548 ; The closest Waldorf teacher's school is in Toronto. It's a year long course but only taught on Saturdays or weekends.  Interesting.
Edit again:  There's a Waldorf daycare in Thunderbay I could visit while I'm there, check it out and see what it's like, maybe volunteer on Fridays or something.  :)

Taking Gabe and Ryan with me on a train and hiking trip around/across the U.K and Ireland.  We'd spend our days either riding through the countryside on the train or walking around villages, seeing the sites.  There would definitely be stops in London, Glasgow, Edinburgh and Dublin, as well as StoneHenge and Ryan's family's 'castle' up in Scotland.  I'd pop into Wales but really, unlike the rest of the U.K it doesn't hold any allure for me.  Most nights we'd camp out under the stars but some would be at cozy inns (aka the bed and breakfast) but most importantly, during the day, we'd take it slow.  Part of the adventure would be the walk between villages or towns and camping out, not just driving from place to place.  Trains would be for long distances.

And now, graduation.  ( Long post behind the cut! )
All in all it was a fantastic, beautiful day.  I'll hold it in my memory like a precious gem forever.

Go read http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/06/on-safe-spaces-and-high-hoping-fools.html.

"Some will argue such expectations are foolish, but foolishness is beside the point. Innovation is commonly owed to magnificent fools with foolish dreams. Discouragement against expecting more is a coward's conceit—it is not foolish to have great expectations; it is brave.

Resignation is a sanctuary, but having high hopes is a risky business indeed. Trying to create the change one wants to see in the world means risking disappointment, heartache, frustration, failure. It means wanting something desperately—wanting it with abandon, wanting it fervently and urgently and recklessly, wanting it with clenched jaw and knitted brow, wanting it despite the fact that it is always easier, always safer, to expect nothing, because nothing is so frequently all that we get—and risking looking like a fool if the centerpiece of that ardent, public desire never materializes.

It is perilous—and, yes, maybe foolish—to harbor fantasies of more, but I want a safe space too much not to." ~Liss at Shakesville

I want my WHOLE FUCKING WORLD to be a safe space, not just a tiny pocket on the internet.

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

"Never leave your 5-9 year old child in the car alone, not even for a minute" (www.safekids.org)

Oh really? And why is that?  Someone explain that to me, because unless it's really hot out and I didn't park in the shade, there's no reason I can't leave my kid alone in the car, doors locked, while I pop into the corner store for milk or drop off a movie at Blockbuster.  *eyeroll*

I commented:

Rich Wrote:  My mom taught me to scramble eggs on a gas stove when I was 4. Good thing. She was a distracted artist, and I probably would have starved if I didn’t learn to fend for myself. Give a kid an egg, he eats for a day. Teach a kid to cook eggs…

This made me smile. Thanks, Rich. ^__^ Mmm eggs.

Another poster commented waaay up there that basic skills for cooking, sewing, car maintenance, home maintenance, etc were once taught in school. Before that, it was taught at HOME by PARENTS. It’s our job, not the schools, or the government, to raise our kids to be self-confident, intelligent and independant.

There is absolutely no reason for any child to get to 8-10 years old and not know how to cook a small meal safely. There’s absolutely no reason for any child not to play in their own back/front yard by themselves once they’ve proven that they wont a)play in traffic b)go with strangers for any reason. There’s absolutely no reason why a child shouldn’t know how to patch a pair of pants or sew on a button back onto a shirt, by the time they hit puberty.

“I’m too busy/don’t have time/s*he’s not interested in learning/I don’t know how” are not good enough excuses. I read a great quote somewhere that relates to that; “We have been given the same amount of time in our days as Leonardo DaVinci, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

If you have an hour to spend every night watching tv or on surfing around on the computer, you have an hour to teach your kids what you know. If you don’t know, learn together. They’re not interested in learning to cook/sew/maintain the home? Too bad. Not everyone can just go out and buy a new shirt or pair of pants if they get a hole or hire a carpenter to build a new deck or eat out at a restaurant.

Share in the comments, if you will, the best thing your parents/whoever raised you taught you.

was a bad day.  Not all of it, just the first like, half, maybe 3/4.  Registering for classes at LU was omfg hard/confusing and frustrating.  It took me two days to do it because the email they sent out didn't include all the info you need to actually register. It just brings you to the first page and you're supposed to be able to figure it out for yourself from there.  Now, I am not a stupid person, I'm familiar with computers and fairly intuitive about this kind of stuff.  Despite this I was unable to register for nearly two days thanks to a simple lack of info on LU's part.  A) you don't need the synonym.  b) the source number isnt' a number, it's the pair of letters after the course code.  >_<  It would've helped if Gabe hadn't stolen most of my breakfast, leaving my blood sugar somewhere in my feet for most of the day. 

At least gaming was good last night, and before that Ry and I had a really insightful conversation about women in literature and fiction in general and how, except for the past maybe 10-15 years, female characters have either been damsels in distress, non-entities or tomboys/might-as-well-be-male.  We took a look at our two tall shelves out here (99% fantasy) and went over the series; Nearly every single series has a male protagonist with one or two token females thrown in as love interest.  Only in the past little while do we see writers like Jacqueline Carey, Anne Bishop, Elizabeth Haydon and Irene Radford coming onto the scene and writing strong female characters with real personality and drive.  Anne McCaffery and Mercedes Lackey have been on the scene for a longer time but they're the only two women authors I know of, in fantasy/sci-fi, that are pre-1990's.  Margaret Weiss teamed up with Tracy Hickman pre 1990's to do the DragonLance Saga, for which I'm eternally grateful but really, that's it.

Today I have no real plans except to continue to hunt for a job.  Maybe mow the lawns, again, as it's been raining so much that it's a jungle outside.  My irises are in full gorgeous sunny bloom and smell fantastic and I think it's going to be a banner year for strawberries.  The hyssop is HUGE and needs to be trimmed back before it tries to strangle the lavender next to it, which is growing calmly and not trying to spread out all over the place.  The raspberries are doing OK but I'm not expecting a huge yeild.  I think I might move them to behind the garage or along the fence there where they'll have more room.

Tomorrow/rest of the week; no plans, not really.  The Ppday bracelets came in so we need to start selling those at Tiny Bubbles.  I'll be there tomorrow night for the meet&greet.  Friday is Leslie's birthday and we have gaming that night.  Saturday is grad day.  O_o  FINALLY I get to graduate.  It took me 4 years, plus a summer semester, to get a 3 year English degree.  I've been out of highschool for 6 years.  *sigh*  Ah well.  I did it, now onto the next phase.  Still trying to find a place to live in Thunder Bay.  Compiled a list of things to bring, and my list of things to do is getting shorter.  Oh, thinking of school, I have 3 day weekends.  ^__^  And classes don't start on Monday morning until 10:30.  

Time for coffee, shower and job hunting.

Plan timetable with elective (that's right, I only get 1)
Register for classes
Find/keep apartment (already got a good start on that one) seeing as how apparently I had to apply for residence by May 1st.  Fuckers.
TB skin test (Tuberculosis is bad, mkay?)

Classes start Sept 8th and end April 23rd.  That's a week later of a start than I thought, so that's nice. And extra week with Gabe and Ryan. <3   The apartment I've been looking at is 525$/monthly, all inclusive, no first and last, no lease, private entrance and bathroom.  Internet is included too and so is some furniture (dresser, sofa, futon bedframe, some kitchen stuff, fridge, stove) and not too far from the university.  I really need to get a bus map of Thunder Bay.

Applied for OSAP; estimated amount is 18.6k.  I'm going to budget in two mid-term (ish) trips back to the Soo; one for Gabe's 3rd birthday and one sometime in Feb so I'm not in agony missing my family.  I remember when I was living at Agawa that I didnt' each much, didn't mind getting up early and was generally punctual.  Let's hope the intervening 8 years or so hasn't changed me much.  Mornings have never bothered me and hey, if I don't have to cook I wont.  Groceries shouldn't be too bad and the rest is taken care of by my rent.

FYI updated my other blog with some thoughts on Reiki yesterday.  littleeaglewomansnest.blogspot.com/2009/06/reiki-thoughts.html

You’re not supposed to think too long or too hard on this one.

List 15 books you’ve read that will always stick with you – list the first 15 you can recall in 15 minutes. Don’t take too long to think about it.

1. The Fionavar Tapestry by Guy Gabriel Kay (3 books)
2.  The Symphony of Ages by Elizabeth Haydon (first 3 were the best/most awesome)
3. The Kushiel's Dart series (6 books, all fantastic)
4. The Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop (3 books)
5  The Belgarian and the Mallorean by David Eddings (10 books total I think)
6. Y the Last Man (graphic novel)
7. The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk

I'm way over the 15 now but yeah, those are just the ones that immediately spring to mind.  If I was stranded on a desert island for the rest of my life, those are the books I'd want to have with me.

I tag Amanda, Wendy, Wrat, Dan, Ryan and anyone from the Table (except Naoko, of course!)
 

Most people know that I'm very much not in favour of violence in movies, tv and video games.  I don't think it's a good idea to glamorize, popularize and desensitize people, whether they're kids or adults, to the reality of violence, something that can't be properly conveyed through a screen.  There's no equal to the adrenalin rush, heart pounding, sweaty palms, hyper awareness and PAIN that violence brings.  The shock of being hit or hitting someone, the bright red of blood on thier body, welling from a wound.  Purple bruises forming under your fists or the bloom of gore from a gunshot wound.  I don't give a damn about censorship; show sex on tv, show homosexual relationships by the score, talk about far left/right politics and theories of how the world was formed.  Go ahead, maybe we'll make some people think.  When did it become unacceptable to see sex but acceptable to watch someone get their face shot off?  There's something wrong with the world today...

That brings me to this:  • Play as a means of suppressing aggression and promoting cooperation.  (http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200906/play-makes-us-human-i-outline-ludic-theory-human-nature)  I read yesterday on a forum, and have had friends argue, that playing violent video games and watching violent movies is a way of releasing pent up agression in a safe way.  It's ok to play Grand Theft Auto or RapeLay because hey, it's only a game, and if I *didn't* play this game, maybe I'd take my agression out on a real person!  To this I say bullshit.  All those games and movies do is popularize and glamourize violence and promote the rape culture that we live in.  In GTA you run over civilians and shoot people for fun.  In RapeLay, from what I've read, the main point of the game is to RAPE PEOPLE.  WTF?  Seriously?  From a review: 
           "You rape women and control every action of the rape. "RapeLay" has the same ground-breaking gameplay as in Des Blood series and other revolutionary Illusion titles: you control the movements of the protagonist's body parts; you have the illusion (maybe that's why the company is called like that...) of a totally physical interaction with the girl. It's the most realistic sex simulation ever seen."  The reviewer goes on to say "Rape is something for sick, despicable people, and the game made me feel sick. Raping an innocent girl and hearing her screams is not my idea of entertainment."  It shouldnt' be ANYONE'S idea of 'entertainment' and the fact that Illusion Software even considered making this game, then did make it and it actually gets sold, makes me sick. 

Arguements of 'well it's not REAL violence' or "Developers can make any games they want too" don't fly with me.  I dont' think violence in games or movies directly causes kids to go on shooting sprees at their school or grown men to walk into daycare centers and start stabbing children (happened in Europe not too long ago) but these things don't happen in a void.  You can't have people living in a world where violence and rape are glamorized and EVERYWHERE and not think that it doesn't contribute in some way.  This is about common sense and that ambigous quality, taste.  This game is in very bad taste.  Movies like Mel Gibson's Pay Back or The Fast and the Furious are in bad taste.  There ARE some things that people don't need to see and 'experience', especially on a daily basis.  "Well those companies have to make money!!!" some would whine.  Too. fucking. bad.  Captialism can bite my ass.

shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/05/more.html  I expect more!  I really do.  There are better, more constructive ways to suppress or release agression and the best of them all is actual physical PLAY.  Get your ass away from the tv and Playstation, go outside and play football or baseball with your friends.  Head to the bowling alley or ski slopes.  Play Calvinball or volleyball or fuck it, even chess or Jenga.  PLAY.  Have fun.  Learn something new.  Rediscover your friends.  Put down the remote/controller and stop wallowing in a culture of rape and violence.

My lettuce and radishes have made an appearance!!  My pumpkins, broccoli and peppers got smashed by a late frost though, so I replanted those today. *sigh*  Also planted today; german chamomile for tea and echinacea for well, however you injest it.  I can't remember at the moment but I know one of my books has it.  Repotted the orchid I got for my birthday from one of the Stephs who was there.  Still need to get the roses from Kelly into the ground.  Maybe after supper.

Time to make stew! After I wash my hands...

 I would wish to get to go to the Lighthouse and keep my job with the Conservation authority.  The interview is Wed at 4, way up on Fifth Line, and the job is only for 7 weeks.  Full time, minimum wage but it'd get us through the summer and give me August to prepare to go away and get PPDay out of the way.  We've bumped that back to August 23rd instead of the 30th because I'll be in ThunderBay by then.

We have a sitter for the Lighthouse week, at least for 3 days or so, now all we need to figure out is transportation.  Other than that, not much to report, really.  Graduation is on the 13th, our second wedding anniversary is the 23rd and Ryan's 25th birthday is the 26th.  Wendy and I are hopefully getting together today to go look at jewelry and I'm going to print out the specs on the computer mom was looking at for me.  Really, I dont' need or want a HUGE honkin' laptop.  I need a glorified typewriter with internet that I can take back and forth to class with me.  So I'm asking mom for a smaller laptop and some jewelry to go with the dress I want to wear for grad.  Here's hoping the weather cheers up and we get some sun.  It's been raining since Tuesday, I suppose making up for a really dry April and most of May.  

My plants didnt' do too well this past week; there was a frost three nights ago and it wiped out my peppers and the pumpkins didn't do too well.  I think the broccoli will need to be re-seeded too.  The annual seed I planted along the fence is doing well though, and so is are the various shrubbery.  The dandelions on the front lawn got thinned out yesterday after I mowed the lawns and my right hand is sore today from holding so tightly to the tool I was using.  There's still a ton more out there but at least now they're not crowding my clover.

Took Gabe to Elizabeth's birthday party on Saturday; she and all her five year old friends had a blast while Gabe generally did his own thing and played nearby.  He was their size but you could see how far behind them he is mentally; I dont' think he said hardly anything the entire time we were there, just a few one word/two word sentences if he wanted something.  I let the kids know that while Gabe was their size physically he was only 2 1/2 so they didn't get confused or too frustrated with him.  He had a riot playing with the balloons and the kids and snacking and all that but really needs to work on sharing and not taking things other kids have.  

I feel like utter shit today.  Headachy, tired, mopey.  My favorite blog is full of terrible news and it's raining.  At least I have a job interview next week (Wed @4pm) though if I get said job then I get to scramble and find a full-time sitter for Gabe in the mornings.  Also, I was looking over the campus map for my new university (Lakehead) and holy crap it's huge.  I'm anxious about living off-campus due to not driving and having to take the bus in a city I'm completely unfamiliar with.  So I'd rather live in campus and pay the damn money.  It's not MY money anyway, it's OSAP's so they can pay it and I'll pay them back later.  Supposedly I'm going out tonight so the hubby can have a couple of friends over to watch a movie but I really really really really really don't want to go out.  I want to go back to bed, or just go to bed, and have today over.

Unless it starts pouring rain in the next couple of hours I'm getting my seeds in the ground.  Enough is enough; they cant' wait anymore!  It's been a fairly cool spring so we're running out of days before the growing season is just too short because fall comes so soon.

Done so far: Weeded the dandelions out.  Again.  It took an hour and there werent' even that many!  Having to stop every 10 minutes and hurry Gabe back into our yard didn't help.

Still to do: 

Rake it all flat
Create rows and/or mounds as appropriate for seeds and seedlings
Plant

EDITED to ADD:  Got it all done thanks to help from Amanda.  Everything is in the ground and oh man are we going to have a lot of food in roughly 2-3 months!  Here's hoping that we have a good summer and I get to start harvesting before I leave in the fall.  Pics to come tomorrow of various plants and things growing about in the yard.